Are you exhausted looking for love? Try this!

Tuesday, November 14th

00:19:26

Are you over blind dates and online dating? Do you have swipe fatigue when you're scrolling through dating profiles on your phone? If you answered "yes," then stop what you're doing and listen to this podcast with Elizabeth Kay and local matchmaker Julie Amann. These are the best steps to help find you love!

To connect with Julie Amann visit It's Just Lunch Milwaukee.

This is your day to take the first step in finding a solid relationship!

 

Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Are you exhausted at trying to find lovable that's ever talking to professional matchmaker Julie amen from its just wants who's the capitation decay a few times they aren't haven't exactly appreciate your good friend of mine and your passionate about. Relationships your passionate about helping people find their match and this podcast today on fifty shades of Kate is all about swipe at T get. You've been on the apps you've been trying to find someone you're exhausted because originally a lot of people come to you at this point sometimes of the charges. That up with this and that's with a slight fatigue comes from but isn't slight fatigue. Really nowadays and Tony seventeen. Just a natural part. Updating you really I mean it's here to stay because were also busy between work and extra curricular and taking care of kids on the we already have such full lions cell. Not people opened a lot of opportunities full faith ten meet other greats singles and sell turning to web site around my naps. It's just so easy it's a quick grade and sell. That's right our fingertips a lot of the times there are no matter where you market traveling if your local. The problem is you have to meet this really quick split second decision. About them on slight lapse quite bright. And it becomes a game to a lot of people you almost forget that these are people on the other hand and it can be really discouraged Ian impersonal game. For a lot of the clients that I that I talked to sell. The thing is that I am always reminding people when things speaking and events are running and singles. Deer are really great singles everywhere I mean I don't from the grocery store to. On the golf course. The only network that tricky. To get your head out of your phone and not of these web sites. And be aware and open as to who is right in front of you it's all of the signals like your Sunday in outs and and what can people do go to make themselves more approachable none that are there looking to find someone I say it all the time I think we talked about it in the past but being positive is the number one quality that singles are attracted to and it's easy to display productivity built it. We do us I mean I think I'm positive person while others think your positive if you're smiling. It's as simple as what I'm not outlet concept right but I'm telling you know joke. I was at the grocery store the other day someone bumped into me barely looked up from their phone. They sat I'm sorry they apologized. Looked up from their phone and I thought. This is what's happening to single file their right so you really only got you can connect with so many people. By IE these simple things by making eye contact by smiling and if you look approachable I know it's a crazy comes up but you're going to get approach work. Now as a matchmaker when you people that come to you and they do that first initial interview which has just liners. And and I and I know you personally I know that you are your outspoken person and you don't mind giving your opinions. Do you coach people in almost tell them about it. I don't know what they're called they're dressed CNN that it should be themselves but asked if you get some of that comes to you and it's a guy would be an old dirty jeans these old dirty Jews Brooke how do you. That DU. It's because I'll be honest that's not exactly approachable necessarily not put a good impression already and it would still be yourself you wanna be yourself. But the eating as a skill set and I'm here to help them get what they want which is the relationship so. The other day sweetheart. Sweetheart of a guy new client of mine hasn't had a lot of experience with DD in theory had down in his career. A lot to the table. Little bit of a wrinkled shirt you know. Tunney is and I said well what are you wearing your first use like well you know these pants the is seen okay X the as a your shirt wrinkled you know I don't. You said that all I have to do I pistol and it's a lot of times sometimes I forget to say are you open to some feedback and again. I don't feel like the Simon Cowell can look at the daily camera that you you are trying to help and I'm not only am I mean I think people know where my intentions are and we usually end up laughing like. She is now they're not appropriate or what trump not important issues that he got on the issue and the thing you wanna play your best foot forward I know we're speaking literally here with the shoes but. You put your bout that forward with how you look because Powell you look is is it really does. Broke back to how you feel on a date and get a feel your pastor wanted to feel sexy if you're coming from work and you are keeping on maybe you work in an office in your keep an on appears slap in the you know your flaps and the you know assured that you Wear every other week to work you're not gonna feel your past on a day it going to have those go to outlets such sexy black drafts that. You know I think eagle I just you really greed and the assault and there is a difference with that and beyond perhaps more and may mimic pigment Kimberly Chan that went in it's not proper grammar going to look good. Feel good play good yeah setting you really you that it really next is it affects everything sat I was just curious if you're that I had. People I I really and that honest with people and again it's to their advantage Amy and people say hey I am I am and I'm not changing and that's OK too because. It's gonna weed out anyone who isn't really truly their for the ranks and sell. It's well within within reason you know I mean if if you're coming from like is that your Solutia and your your common from work. You're not gonna translate well into the eighty and so we need to up our game a little bit but. On so be approachable looking your bout certainly house a lot to do with that on that but all again putting your. Phone down you have to disconnect if you wanna connect with others. They say it all the time and you have to disconnect if you wanna connect yeah Andrea and really connect with someone yes if you're constantly checking in social media you're taxing your missing an opportunity to meet with someone who is right in front of you. You'd have to. Really communicate with people want to talk with people look them in the height your phone away live in the moment see that scares some people a friend of mine who is still up there are looking for someone he is. The sweetest guy hard working counts as manly but he is shy India soul shy news. What do you say to someone like that how can they spark a conversation with someone well if being held that there are more introverted that's not wrong either I work with a lot of clients who come to me as a matchmaker and it's just clintons say I don't do well on March social situations I have to go to them work and I. You know courtesy in the background but I do wanna be in a relationship so be channel one on one day where you know a lot of ball that her son. You're checking in NK you know what I figured meets soon be taking your table that's where you meet. Were gonna give you a lot of information about that person to make it feel very organic I would say to my clients. It should feel like a friend deciding you up on dates but it doesn't. I'll give you more information. So I want to carry things that you're offering I 'cause I mean you guys take care of of the bill when it comes it's just once you're giving them information and so it's the only you have some things you can pull from in your mind where it's like don't let the bill for our clients in regards to our O'Donnell do you split the bill but my point is that they got that there's not that I -- there's not an opera star packed as people rings I don't especially introverted people on the some anxiety and it is not one of the locally and I mean I eat. I think after remind myself that sometimes but when I meet with some Andre and I relate to Joseph are just a few one time but that's not always the case for clients and so I working with clients to say. What are you looking port typically I would tell you IMAP tunnels qualities if you are introverted. You are going to do so much battered dating someone who also loves seeing and reading books watching movies. Because I know people say do opposites really attract. Lee thanks so beyond that look at Fergie and Josh Duval who just recently said they're getting a divorce and they both have now said. They were the opposites attract and there was all this physical you know for quite a work I start them but then at the end its like were buried. Very different people adore that's kind of what happened with me in my ex husband and good guy we grew up together know each of the for a long time by a a real introvert you share I'm an extrovert and that kind of over time it's like as our life started to change. We saw these differences and that's why don't your constantly making those concessions for someone you start to build resentment. And so it's comfortable if your book social great obviously balance is important yet you wanna and yeah exactly and of course is sometimes it's nice to have those differences to be as he could be out doing your hobby here she's not doing their hobbies so it's not the abandoned and all be all but complete opposite right one termite I just don't see how that can work now and in fact your front your your side front the way to strike up a conversation I would say there are two things talk about something in the that you have in common. Which is what we're giving to our clients but even in general if you're not working with the matchmaker or something you're curious about. This can be as easy as grocery shopping and if you're in the wine aisle and you double takes someone and that wine aisle and you think. Don't think she. She's a beauty. Or I'd loaned it to go to dinner with that I have well. Cool air it's a little bit of a risky outs but it can be the easiest thing in have you tried the bottle before. I always have but the same thing you're bullpen or why and I now there is your lead and the or wanted to try to talk to me you like that. Still that's great that's kind of why not even in a romantic sent. That's why people stop and talk about the weather cause you're talking to experience in the same weather that you guys trying to find that that's easy next time I'm saying I am proud. I'm but the bathroom live bomb and they say this all the time be genuine. If you're not in the whine don't talk about wine talk about the apples in the pro action or something else but don't be if they don't be phony. Singles see right through that and so. I don't care what pick up wine eat eat if it's a really funny you may get away with that is peace sincere K I. I've seen you here before the detective the last time you know I don't have some creepy but. It's just bats to really be sincere that goes along way when he welcomes to you and I think been like you said being sincere and be honest there was a friend of mine now married. The guy that she Matt Damon at a bar he honestly came up to her not pick up line but he said. He's like I don't look at actual night and I am so onerous talked you can buy you a drink and she thought that was a fact that cutest thing out and it does say he says he honestly say that I am I am really nervous to talk to you that the Clinton allies and our ad. They're married with two kids see I mean there's again and that no risk no reward us it clients who let's take things lol leave it. And let's just get two on and some for states and whatever your house petitions or whatever your nervous about whatever you think you stumbled on during the day let's talk about it. And let's built the upscale southern median and connecting honey field goal with people what's your advice. When they meet someone and there are their interest Stanton did they give out their phone number right away and I am you know all the time in this day and age you wanna be saved I mean I may be speaking more on behalf of the women that are listening and but what do you say to that you. Be mindful of the situation that you're meeting that person and if you don't feel comfortable giving out your number then don't all the old. If you talk for awhile if you if you it's a great way to start communication through text in the you can always block someone I mean you really can't hates I hate to jump. Forward to a negative spend but if it's not someone that turns out to be the person you about the block them but. And if you do about your number I think that's fine I would not give out a lot of other personal information. Hey I work downtown IE you know live in this area I hang out here all the time. You're not gonna share anything like that until we get to know that person daughter but. To start a communication with texting and with the phone number it's not a bad idea if you're not comfortable with that. Should just a place and back to that grocery. Ideal scenario. It is you know my girlfriends and I error going to be at the Kempton you know this weekend we're gonna go to the rooftop it's gonna be eighty degrees you should check it out. That's opening a door to continued communication gap I'll give me not your number yeah and that's a company can do also. Absolutely and with its just once if they are going that right route and working with the matchmaker do you go about personal information right away well they're only connect dean. So for people are a little nervous it's in today's me it's a safe. You better screen everything kind of well we we do I sit down and they meet with every one of our clients and myself as well as our team and so we get to know their style their personality the energy they give off. And at worst setting up the dates at restaurants that are comfortable for the both of them we typically have a clients meet metal. And so Brookfield is a you know overly common meetingplace for a lot of people but you're just checking in under first names and sciele. Again you know Eric here is here to meet. On duty and they take it your table and that's where you meet. It's that information about each other and it. See incidents Julie's son that you love skiing cross country skiing I spot last year I'm Gideon and that springboard of conversation on. It's an appetizer it's a drink coffee. So it's a quick way to saying. Yes there was a connection people very comparable. Or. I don't you would she leave here IQ was Lee can schedule was really crazy im gonna see him again iPhone and really tract of but I just feel like our schedules don't quite jive so next time people goes on someone who maybe has little bit more than 95 scuttle. Whatever the case says I'm not I'm always saying he can't cheer you watch how mean so that we can use that information moving forward with your next date. This sounds like such a great way to date because back to this whole original pod casting I swiping fatigue fray this is a way to not deal with us identity and feel like you were with a lot of people that have a lot of hobbies that are busy that don't have the time to sit on the couch and stop yelling you do the hard part really we'd do the hard part yeah no doubt about it ordeal and all the work for our clients I would say all of you what to do was show up pal fun and call me the next day and tell me how things went and sell and don't Wear wrinkled shirt when your shot up right. Concerts. You're greats like fatigue clients of say Julie I I've dated online or they don't wanna expose themselves online but. Which is when it comes to sway petite three dates three months whatever it is both say I'm not getting what I want out of the essence sell. I had a crying yesterday I thought it was funny who's like K unless she's gonna want an in my living room hasn't watching not flex tonight and cooking dinner. Probably not gonna happen anytime soon because. I'm Don with this part time job. Of going online and looking to profiles and trying to figure out who's on the same page at me who's serious whose genuine. Like financials say I don't Daniel and I thought I'd find the same thing online. You have to. You panic you know sometimes because lot of frogs to find them this is a little bit more of a streamlined. Way of meeting people who are on the same page as you relations at mind hadn't yet and the website is I JL dot com it's just lunch will link it up at 99 won the mixed dot com. One final question before I wrap up. I was a hearing your success stories that I had to have any new ones to share Reese on my goodness I am so lucky to have so many to share but the one that from yesterday that truly comes to mind is. IE had a client call and it was one of my first marriage those it was clients in Green Bay that I Napster in the end up getting married. And it was someone that she's a doctor. And it was one of her patience called me yesterday and sat at got your name from someone who you match and they got married in a civil war. As his final push at that honey it's my clients I see you can share with me you're not breaking any confidentiality. And when she Sheridan I just was it was just a really great thing that it was on my first marriages. And sell it worked now working with those woman and I thought it was so great that I as a doctor. She is meeting with the client and talking about whatever medical condition they were at all by the way and that my husband Virgil and it still clients and so that's how would that covers bad start ready to I thought that was great but so many great story is I mean. Clients who just have challenges and it could be. Haven't needed in thirty years to they never thought I'd be in the situation and those are always the ones that I just think I know I can make a positive impact full difference what about people that. Say that they feel like they're past Tuesday against perhaps they have a messy situation they still have to deal with with an ax or can you know they have. I'm not saying kids are baggage I'm a step mom but I know people that feel that and feel like. Well I'm I'm 38 who's gonna wanna know who want me I guess I have three kids are who's what are what are the case may be what do you say to people like me that well I remind them that. Every one comes to a relationship with quote unquote be against it doesn't matter that's a past relationship of its. You know oh why can't subway schedule every one comes and her relationship with something and it's understanding and what you report on court again big edge is. And and be with someone who is ready to take that on an embrace that when it comes to children the and they against. I have heard from so many clients the biggest surprise is how much. Children add to a relationship and a positive oh my gosh and I speak from experience to that met with my stepson I adore and love him and he's great start when I met my husband my I knew that night in his. Son my stepson. Came with him. But I do have these friends that I could think of right now that have kids are divorced and I like I don't know is a guy gonna. In a wanna deal with this guy acts Smith argued about the counter in the schedule and I knew they come with use so if someone doesn't have EU. With that included right then they're not the right person circles back to communication hey it's important to let people he got he got to tell on the I know your goals get married have kids mine too but this comes with me and I feel the need to share it you don't want there to be surprises yeah. A license that says that doesn't build trust it doesn't and that's something happened pretty early on in her release and sent the person for you look is going to X up your bay against. And work with you on the Pentagon carry your breaks for names not. Yeah Juliet love to come on fifty shades UK having me and he website again is it's just launched dot com this could be your days this could be the way that you find that person that person even waiting for so reach out. Everything blink of an idea and I won the mixed dot com thanks Julie thanks Elizabeth. If you enjoyed this podcast and you wanna hear more make sure you subscribe so to subscribe to fifty shades of cake. Make sure your on your iTunes app Google play or your podcast app on your Smartphone. Search for fifty shades of Kate that's 50. Shades of Kate than it should be a little button. Where you hit subscribe there's also a little button or you can hit every deal I'd love it if you left a review. Let me know what you think. Again it's fifty shades of K thanks so much for listening.
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